My pillow case is soaked.
I woke up to texts from him.
Another slip.
And im trying with all my might to have the Spirit with me.
And to somehow submit cheerfully and patiently.
But i just hurt.
I feel like i just want to escape.
I dont want to get out of bed or go to work. I dont want to pretend im fine. I dont want to go to my job interviews today and fake confidence.
I just hurt.
And i wonder if i can really do this.
If maybe im not strong enough to be the woman he needs me to be.
Will he ever be temple worthy?
Will it be years until this is controlled?
My heart just aches and it takes all of my might to pray to not be disgusted and take offense.
Satan, im going to overcome you again today.
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