i read stories and blogs of other lds couples.  i read of their horror stories of him flying across the world to have sex with other women, his affairs, his strip clubs, him despising his children, him hiring prostitutes, him abusing their children.  and those wives, they didn't think it was their man. not the man they had married in the temple.
and i think, thats not my man.  he wont let it get that bad.
for those men, it began exactly the same way it has for p.
it is now clear how very crafty and powerful satan is.

who is to say this couldn't be my horror story?



my sweet, sweet man.
my poor sweet man.
im begging and pleading that God may change his heart and heal his brain.
that rock bottom is not somewhere in the future.
i want so badly to be able to trust him.
to make covenants with him in the House of our God.
to move forward from this hellish disease and never look back.

what is the right choice?  what do i do?