it is really hard to have people that do not understand addiction tell me that p. is just an ass and i should leave him.  people that we are close to have told me to leave him.  people have told me that i can do better.

i get that it looks that way. i get that my last post demonstrates that.
but it is a veil of addiction that controls him.
it isnt the real him.


and i know that is hard for people to comprehend that have no experience with addiction.
it makes it really hard for me to confide in anyone and get sound advice.

i prayed last night.
fervently.
i know that God knows p.'s heart better than i do, and I know God knows what is best for both him and  I.  i know that God wants both of us to be happy.

i am ready to do whatever he prompts me to do.