thank you for all of those that have commented and supported me. it is so comforting to know there is someone out there that has experienced this and is hearing me and loves me.
i feel pretty empty right now.
i feel like i could reread my past posts and hear my own preaching advice. and i know i should follow it but i don't want to force myself to.
i want to just feel whatever it is that im feeling. hoping it will pass.
i have sooo many things i am suppose to get done today but i havent done much but an eye appointment (with swollen eyes) and drove a sister to work after her car was totaled.
the rest has been in bed.
crying.
trying to read the scriptures and recovery blogs.
praying.
im suppose to post my car for sale. im suppose to do a billion things for my calling. im suppose to fold my laundry. im suppose to go running right now.
but instead i sit here feeling hallow.
and like my head is a balloon.
and i guess this is unhealthy. but im in pain. and im miserable.
and i just want the day to be over and skip to a better day.
last night i had the serious thought: this wears on me emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually. will i die younger because of this stress and heartache?
i mean that 100% serious.
Ya know, I think it's totally normal and even healthy lay in bed and cry and grieve. sometimes that's a good way to release tension and stress. when I feel crappy, I try a make sure I'm extra gentle with those painful feelings. You're doing ok. And ill bet your life will be long, happy and full.
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