dove evolution

have you seen this video yet??
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U


my wonderful man sent it to me today and said,
"i want you to know that i think you're beautiful."


probably one of the top 5 sweetest things a human being could ever be told.
it just melts my heart.  those are words that hold a lot of power and influence.

i remember when p. and i first started dating, he hadn't ever told me i was beautiful.  i didn't really think about it until we had been dating two months or so. then i started getting worried. (i dont know why.  i guess i just thought it was part of how he should be expressing love…then i was sad with the thought that maybe i would never hear him say it and wondered if i was ok with that.)
then one day,
he looked me in the eye.
and he told me i was beautiful.
and i cried.

like a happy baby.


it means so much to me.
i still think i'm mostly a beautiful person—not super stunning physically, but i do love myself and all that makes me ME.
but its the BEST to hear your love tell you so.
makes me feel like a million bucks.

i appreciated this so much today.
especially after my run yesterday, i was thinking about my boss.
i don't like her. and i fight negative thoughts all day.
she has a stupid boob job and wears small tanktops and it makes me angry.
i dont know how to not be angry about it.
but i also feel really sorry for her.
she screams for attention from everyone.
and needs that validation.
even so much that she was willing to mutilate and "fake" her body to get that pseudo love or attention.
also on my run i thought about women in general, with the way media would have us made out to be like and look like. the cartoons with giant boobs and toothpick waists.  heaven help us!
someone change this.
then i think about the men sitting behind the computer screen drawing the figures… come on!
i wish i could change the world somehow.
i wish i could throw away all of the dirty movies or movies with any nudity or inappropriate scenes.  i wish i could talk to all of those women who play those parts, help them realize their worth and their real beauty.  i wish i could show all of the people in that industry how many REAL people they are destroying through publishing the raunchy garbage. i wish they could see their way of making money destroys families and the self esteem of thousands and destroys marriages around the world.
surely if they could only grasp the depth of it…
surely it cant be worth the income theyre making…


man, i just want to be real.
even if real isnt cookie cutter.
God gave me a body as a gift!  he gave me my body that is completely unique to me, its mine! and it is gorgeous! and it may be imperfect now, but it will be perfect one day.  and i am so thankful to God for giving me this body to one day make babies with and feed them.  i am thankful for this body that i get to run with and swim in water with and stretch.  i love this body that i may travel with and partake of all my senses with. there are so many joys we enjoy because we have our body!  i do love mine and i desire to take care of mine, respect it, and LOVE it.