i just had a weird thought..
am i scared of what life would be like without his addiction?  i don't think i mean life in sobriety. i mean a life where it just wasn't existing.
maybe i am fearing being over confident spiritually or becoming naive again (i guess thats not possible)…
im not even sure what im trying to say.
i guess maybe i just have some sort of comfort knowing what the problem is that p. and i face.
its kind of nice to not always be wondering what the problem is.
and if i wasn't with him, i think i may live in fear of it, knowing its really out there-- running around lying to pretty girls like me.

that didn't make sense right?
perhaps i should delete this.